I absolutely hate nights like this. One of my mood swings hit me and I suddenly feel very depressed and very alone.. Like everyone I love is just out of my reach. I feel like crying and curling into a ball.. I feel like hiding away from everything and everyone. I feel hurt.. Unneeded, unappreciated.. Unwanted.. I just want to feel loving arms wrap around me. I want, for once, someone to pull me closer and whisper into my ear that they love me, that they need me..
Why is it that I seem to be the one to repel happiness? It's like I'm wearing a perfume called "Good guys get the hell away from me." I seem to only attract the ones that treat me like nothing, or the ones that use me. Or hell, I seem to be "lucky" enough to get a combination of the two. I'm just THAT amazing.
I try my hardest to be there for anyone I can, I want to help and make others happy. I'm the girl that ignores my own happiness for another's. I'm the girl that jumps to defend, it's called loyalty. Something that seems to no longer exist.
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